I Am. When? - Personal

The Tattoo

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 12:50:47 -0700

Before I get into the whys and hows of getting my tattoo, let me start off by saying that if you live in the Tampa Bay area, or can get here, and are thinking about a custom tattoo, go see JD (John Dixon) at Psychotic Ink in St Petersburg, FL. JD has a relaxed, laid-back attitude, is a great artist and does phenomenal work. He is one of those rare people that are truly "about the work."

Now onto the story…

About 20 years ago, I had decided to get a tattoo. I just wanted one for no better reason than "because." At the time, I drew up a custom piece that was centered around my joining the Navy as a Nuclear Electronics Technician. The drawing was a skeleton of an American Bald Eagle perched on a typical "Navy" anchor ("USN Nuke" written on it) with a mushroom cloud in the background. I had planned on getting the tattoo on the left side of my chest; however, for reasons I won't get into, I never got the tattoo.

A few years later, while I was stationed in Virginia Beach and still had the tattoo itch, I scheduled an appointment six months out with a tattoo artist up in northern Virginia. The tattoo was to be the album cover of Glenn Danzig's Black Aria (art by Michael Wm. Kaluta). This was at a time before MW Kaluta had decided to extend the drawing from the album cover to include the full wings, etc. and when tattoo guns were no where near what they are today. As a result, there were very few tattoo artists who could handle the size and detail I wanted (plus finishing the "missing parts" of the drawing), which was probably why the one I found was booked out six months in advance. Once again, this tattoo was going to be on the left side of my chest. Well, as luck would have it, come the time of my appointment I got stuck on duty all weekend and had to cancel.

Flash forward to the year 2010 and someplace in the back of my mind is still the itch for a tattoo. I still like the Black Aria cover; it is a terrific art and I love the good versus evil concept. But it has been done many-times-many times and I needed something original, something unique to me. Age and wisdom also have told me that the human body changes on a fairly consistent basis, so the location of the tattoo (whatever it was) should be someplace where those physical changes would be at a minimum (see the Blob's tattoo in the Wolverine movie for an example of what I am talking about).

While the tattoo itch was still someplace festering in my mind, it was something I hadn't really thought about in nearly 15 years time, so I felt inspired when the idea to get my tattoo struck me. "Andrew," my mind said, "take off that bra and panties, someone is coming." Wait. Sorry. Wrong conversation.

"Andrew," my mind said, "you are obsessed with gravity. You should get a tattoo on your back having to do with gravity, and what better representation of gravity than a Black Hole."

"Really?" I replied.

"Of course. Chicks will dig it!"

I had to admit my mind was correct. I am obsessed with gravity. Mostly about it being broken or rather that the formulas that represent gravity are broken. My mind was also correct in its assumption that it would be cool, so I set to working out the concept for this tattoo.

The concept for the art came to me pretty quickly (apparently, my mind had been hard at work on it for a long time while I was off doing other stuff): the personification of a Black Hole (or avatar), similar to the gods of old representing the human form of a phenomenon. Apollo is the god of the sun and, thus, represents what the sun would look like in human form. Hades is the god of the underworld and, thus, represents what the underworld would look like in human form. Wil Wheaton is the god of gamer geeks and, thus, represents what the gamer geek would look like in celebrity form (I know Vin Diesel is a gamer as well, but he does not look like a gamer geek in celebrity form, more like what gamer geeks look like in fantasy form, i.e. Den from Heavy Metal).

With the concept worked out, I only had one problem before I could get inked…I lost the ability to draw nearly 20 years ago (my belief is I gave it to my daughter when she was born). I had an artist in mind who I thought could handle creating my vision, but it was a student from one of my classes who I never ran into anymore and had no way of getting in touch with. I was pretty much screwed. This was a piece of art that was going to become a permanent part of my body and not something I could trust to just anyone. So onto the backburner the tattoo idea went.

A few months later, toward the end of my spring semester of classes, luck intervened and I ran across a student drawing his final exam for an art class. His work was great and so I struck up a conversation with him about doing a custom piece and the concept of my tattoo. Long story short, he agreed to draw it up, gave me his email address and asked me to send over a photo of me in the pose I was thinking of for the Black Hole avatar.

Instead of snapping off a photo, I decided to use Poser 3D and Photoshop to produce a better visual of what I was talking about. The image to the right is what I came up with and I emailed it off to the artist with an explanation. Basically, the idea is the avatar coming out of a physical Black Hole (with muscles straining against the gravitational forces) to devour a star. Pretty neat, right? My computer graphic kind of sucked, but it was just to visualize the concept and show the pose I had in my mind.

While I waited for a reply from the artist, I set to work on researching tattoos, inks, and tattoo artists. I read up on the composition of inks (allergies), care for tattoos, and began looking for an artist who did good gray-wash tattoos (using only black ink) in the local area. I spoke with everyone I knew who had gotten tattoos in the area and looked at the portfolios for each of the artists who did the work. Again, this was going to be a permanent part of my body so I mentally critiqued the hell out of everything and everyone.

Time passed and I never heard back from the young artist I had met at school. Luck again intervened though as the tattoo artist my ex-wife (and still friend), Suzi, and her boyfriend, Carl (who is covered with tattoos), recommended was supposed to be a terrific artist. They both said that if I give him the concept and told him to put his own spin on it, it would be great. I was very impressed with the work of his I saw and setup an appointment to discuss the idea. Shortly thereafter, I had an appointment to get inked with JD at Psychotic Ink.

On the day of part one of the tattoo, my best friend (and fellow Pirate), Liz, and girlfriend, Catherine, both came to watch the festivities. I am still of the opinion that they both came to see me in pain and were hoping for a good show of blood spurting and cries of agony. I disappointed on both fronts. Liz did bring her digital camera along so I have the following pictures to present (everyone say "Thank you, Liz").

From left to right: (1) This is the finished outline for the body and the "scratches" JD made to record where he would detail later. (2) A bunch of the body filled in just before a break. (3) An up close shot while on break. Getting pretty red, eh?

(4) JD at work. (5) Almost done with the first portion. A little blood up in the star. (6) The first portion finished. Looks awesome, right?!?! Check out how red it is and the little blood specks.

I went alone for the second part of the tattoo, mostly because it was in the middle of a work day, but also because I think Liz and Catherine got too much enjoyment from my pain. As a result, there are no pictures of the second portion being completed. I will say this though, aside from the outline of the formula lettering, JD free-handed the entire second half of the tattoo. In case you can not tell from the pictures above, he also free-handed all the detail for the body of the avatar and star.

In answer to the question that everyone asks, "Not bad and like a son of a bitch." The question, of course, is "Did the tattoo hurt?" The first portion wasn't bad at all, except for the outline of the hand that crossed over the edge of my shoulder blade. The second portion made me want to cry like a hungry-hungry baby, particularly where the tattoo goes onto my side.

There was one time during this whole ordeal that I did cry out like a little girl and that was when I had Catherine put a liquid compress on the first portion of the tattoo the night after it was done. The compress was freezing cold and I am man enough to admit that I screamed; to which she apparently received great enjoyment as I was greeted with the sound of giggling.

Anyway, that is the story of me getting my tattoo. I will add that the tattoo is on the left hand side of my back, instead of centered for two reasons: (1) I thought the bony spine would hurt too much (it didn't hurt bad at all) and (2) I needed room to put the correct formula for gravity once I create it. And that is my story.

Oh, here's the picture of the tattoo two days after it was finished (still a little red). I am incredibly happy with how it turned out and the work JD did. It really is much better than I could have hoped for and captures my vision perfectly. Thank you for enduring the pain with me. Enjoy.

Oil and Water

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 07:51:27 -0700

Oil and water do not mix. It is just one of those chemical composition things. You can pour them both into the same container and the water will settle to the bottom with the oil floating on top of it. Shake the container up and after a few minutes they will revert back to layering; oil on top and water on the bottom. Separate entities in the same container.

Both compounds are needed in this world. Water quenches thirst and is needed to survive. Oil, among other things, lubricates the gears and joints for movement. Even once you have both in the same container you can still separate them back out again and they will fulfill these basic tasks just as well because they do not mix.

There are ways you can force the two to combine, to bond as it were, but in doing so you wind up with neither water nor oil. Instead you have something else. Something that neither quenches your thirst nor provides lubrication for movement. A bastardized compound.

Science and religion are the same way. When you pour both into a person they will naturally settle, just as oil and water. Religion, like water, flows deep into a person and quenches their thirst; while science, like oil, will stay above it and lubricate the mind. Separate entities in the same container.

Only, for some strange reason, many people think they should not be poured into the same container at all. This is fine for a lot of people, filling themselves with either the water of religion or the oil of science. And it would be all well and good except you get many misguided individuals who believe there is no place for the other entity. How many scientists throughout the ages have been told time and again that they will burn in hell if they do not accept this deity or that god? How many students of religion have been told that there is no god? Each side attempting to force out one entity or the other. So much for freewill (which mind you both sides believe they possess or there would be no need to express their own views onto others).

For some even stranger reason there are even more people who attempt to mix the two. To rectify science with their god and their god with science. Evolution and creationism are a very good and on going example of this. Evolution is a scientific theory that attempts to show and understand how all creatures came into their current state of being. Creationism is a faith-based belief that all creatures were created by a god. The first lubricates the brain to think and learn. The second quenches the heart and soul with belief in a greater purpose.

And then there is Intelligent Design. The combination of the two. Forcing oil and water to bond until it is a new and different compound. In doing so there is no longer a separation of religion and science, and the new compound neither quenches one's soul nor lubricates one's mind. Combinations such as this serve no purpose within a person, but instead are a bastardization of wasted water and oil.

Within my own self I allow both entities to exist. The waters of religion and the oils of science. There is no need for me to compare or contrast the two. There is no need for me to rectify one with the other. They are separate and do not mix. I am happy to leave it as such. Faith is not science, nor is science about faith; why should I force one out or attempt to combine them? Just as water does not contradict oil, religion and science do not contradict one another because there is no overlap; they each remain distinctly different and separate. The waters of religion quench my heart and soul, while the oils of science lubricate my mind. Oil and water do not mix; and that is why I am a Pastafarian.

Dead Power Supply

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:09:25 -0700

Following a loud pop that caused my heart to stop for a moment, my computer power supply decided to head on to greener pastures. Being who I am, I figured I would rip it apart to see the reparability of it all, thinking it was likely a blown capacitor or transformer. Capacitors that make that exploding sound usually show some outward sign of such action, where as transformers are generally more subtle. Worth a shot at the very least, right?

With no signs of capacitor damage and 16 transformers soldered into the circuitry, it was apparently a waste of my time. I suppose I could have started desoldering parts to test them individually, but even were I successful in locating the culprit (and hopefully the root cause); I would have to locate some oddball replacement component. Hardly worth the time for all of that.

Instead of jumping through all the self-repair hoops, I looked online for an aftermarket replacement... with no luck. It would seem this is a proprietary power supply specific to this model of Dell. And that just sucks. The good news is that everyone and their brother seem to carry this power supply as a refurbished unit, including Dell. That meant two things to me: first, this particular type of failure is likely a common problem with this power supply, and second, they are likely replacing the bad component with a better one. That last part is just a guess, but makes sense when you have a common source of failure.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that I am without my main computer until sometime Friday when my replacement power supply arrives. The big problem is that my life is on that computer, including all the pictures and notes for this here blog thingy of mine. I do have backups (and the hard drives are obviously still OK), but with under a weeks wait for repair time it hardly seems worth the effort to build out a computer just to restore a few files for a couple of days use. At least that is my thought.

While we wait for a real blog entry from yours truly, you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the music. What? You can't hear that music? Sorry, the voices must be singing again. They really are getting pretty good you know. Just skip that last part about enjoying the music. I'll get something more entertaining up as soon as I can. Until then... Ciao.

Life's Hardest Little Lesson

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:58:59 -0700

The world does not change itself to who I am, so I must change who I am in order to change the world.

Tough one to learn, or perhaps just accept...

Congratulations Phaide

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:38:58 -0700

This has been a bit of a hectic week for me. My first set of assignments and tests for Calculus are all due this week, along with the work from Intro. Chemistry. Two classes I can normally balance with my professional and personal life, but I have the addition of my mom visiting with me for the week. All and all it makes for a little more of a hectic week and unfortunately my blog suffers a bit as a result.

Should you be one of my handful of regular readers, I would like to suggest only checking once a week for the next month. I am certain I will find my professional, personal, and academic groove (again) before too long, but do not want to frustrate any of my readers with hopes of consistent updates. I have stopped reading several web comics in the past for that very same reason and do not want anyone to have to feel that level of loss. The image of the same exact comic showing up on my computer screen every day still haunts me at night. It was, and still is, a horrifying experience. Really.

In other news fronts, the reason for my mother's visit (and part of my week's schedule) is that my daughter is graduating from High School, with today being the actual ceremony. It is finally happening, and if her turning 18 did not make me feel old, her graduating from high school pushes me over that limit. I am an old man. I need a Porsche. Actually, a Tesla Roadster. Porsche are so last year’s mid-life crisis. Anyway, everyone repeat after me...

Congratulations Phaide on your graduation from High School!

The Badges

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:00:00 -0700

A quick note to point out that I have updated the About Me page with a link to my O.O.T.S.S.O.E.R.A.A.A.P. Badges. I am quite proud, so go take a look. Go on.