I Am. When?

Thanksgiving

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 08:30:00 -0800

Compared to the other nations of the Earth, the United States of America is a young and inexperienced country; while the land has seen its fair share of much older nations rise up on its soil, the country itself is still in its youth. Despite our young age, this is a great nation full of know-how, ingenuity and purpose.

Throughout the history of this nation there are two phrases, historical quotes if you will, that exemplify this drive, determination, and ability to overcome obstacles. The first occurred on July 20, 1969 at 4:18pm EDT when Neil Armstrong announced to the world, "The Eagle has landed." The second occurring each and every Thanksgiving morning as a country proudly declares, "The Turkey is in the oven."

Happy Thanksgiving.

Orbitals Do Not Exist

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:31:00 -0700

Once upon a time in the land of Bohr's atom, scientists tried to explain electrons floating around the nucleus and came up with the magical faerie tale of orbitals. Orbitals are on par with medieval Christian medicine; that is, the physicians explained ailments in terms of demons, curses and sin. Sometimes the physicians got lucky with the diagnosis and treatment, but there was no concrete method to prove when they were wrong, it was just the sinner’s disbelief that killed them, not a misdiagnosis. You have just got to love absolute truths. Orbitals are one of those truths.

Orbitals are a faerie tale. A story. A guess. An educated guess perhaps, but a guess all the same. When you describe something as being "90% likely to be located someplace in this region" you are guessing, just like medieval physicians did. They based their guess work on the religion of the Christian God; modern scientists base their guess work on one incorrect theory, which in turn grew to hundreds and thousands of incorrect theories. Or at least, incorrectly based theories.

Let's put a little truth back into those theories. For simplicity's sake we are only going to talk about the "original three" subatomic particles: electrons, protons and neutrons. The remainder of the particles actually fall in line and make much more sense with what I am going to point out. Ready then?

Electron's move in logical, predictable orbits around the nucleus of an atom.

Bold and brash, right? Wrong. Here's the simple understanding of it all.

1) Electrons are influenced by the positive-to-negative electromagnetic pull of the nucleus of the atom. Given this, an electron should get sucked into and become part of the nucleus of the atom (this is why physicists first started to make stuff up).

2) The distance between the source of a given force and an object the force is acting upon changes the strength of that force. Meaning an electron located in North Carolina is not going to get sucked into the nucleus of an atom located in Virginia. Still means that electron is going to get sucked into its own nucleus though.

3) Enter my Hypothesis (I'm about ready to do a nice write up to move this officially to a theory, as well as a slight rewrite to bring it more inline with scientific wording): The faster an object is moving relative to a source of energy/force, the less influence said force exerts upon the object. You can read my initial write-up entitled Classical Mechanics Rule to see how this affects an electron. Basically, electrons move too damn fast to allow the electromagnetic pull of the protons to suck it into the nucleus; instead the force gets reduced thanks to the electron's speed and a stable orbit is created.

Based on this first part, a hydrogen atom in a complete void would have an orbital pattern that looks exactly like what everyone thinks an orbit should look like. There is even a mathematical formula for this orbital pattern, because it is the same mathematical formula for any circular orbit. Of course, not all atoms are hydrogen atoms and none reside in a complete void, nor are all hydrogen atoms simple one proton nucleus atoms. This is where things really are complicated. If only there was a mathematical formula that could accurately describe that complicated orbit just as well as one describing a circular orbit, but surely if there was such a mathematical formula someone would have come up with it by now (and won a Nobel Prize as a result).

The good news is there is one. The even better news is that, to my knowledge, no one has won a Nobel Prize for it yet. There might have been, and I just missed it, but given that the world is still using (and teaching) quantum physics, I am fairly certain that no one has released said formula. What is the mathematical formula then? I don't know. Crap, so much for that Nobel Prize.

Alright, that is partially a lie or I wouldn't be bothering to write up an entry about all this. I know almost all the pieces of the formula, or rather I know what all the pieces are and the mathematical formulas for most of those pieces. Being a nice person, and thinking science should be expanded for sciences sake, here are the components that make up the mathematical formula of a stable orbit (planets, electrons, black hole event horizons, etc):

1. The mathematical formula for a standard orbit (Trigonometry, baby).
2. The mathematical formula for force applied based upon distance (available in Physics or Chemistry books incase you don't know it by heart).
3. The mathematical formula for force applied based upon speed (yea, this is the missing one, but can actually be easily figured out. Heck, someone might actually know it already, but if not, there are simple experiments).
4. The mathematical formula for force applied to an object through specific barriers (neutrons are a barrier, as are certain solar phenomena).
5. The constant values of each force for each object.
6. The speed of each object.

Pretty simple right? Number five is a "gotcha" in that not only does a proton pull on an electron and a star pull on a planet, but electrons repel one another and planets have gravitational forces of their own. Number six is an easy one, except when additional energy is applied, but that can be factored in; we do after all know the speed of an electron in a vacuum, and, well, between the electron and the nucleus is a vacuum (pretty clever).

When you throw all this together you can model a complete, stable orbital system. Sooner or later I will get around to producing this formula in its entirety. Of course this will require all the textbooks to be rewritten as well as many of the existing theories (like, because I mentioned them previously, a ton of the stuff on black holes), but that is what science is all about. Change based on new information, and currently the new information is that Orbitals do not exist. Do the math and you will agree.

The Tattoo

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 12:50:47 -0700

Before I get into the whys and hows of getting my tattoo, let me start off by saying that if you live in the Tampa Bay area, or can get here, and are thinking about a custom tattoo, go see JD (John Dixon) at Psychotic Ink in St Petersburg, FL. JD has a relaxed, laid-back attitude, is a great artist and does phenomenal work. He is one of those rare people that are truly "about the work."

Now onto the story…

About 20 years ago, I had decided to get a tattoo. I just wanted one for no better reason than "because." At the time, I drew up a custom piece that was centered around my joining the Navy as a Nuclear Electronics Technician. The drawing was a skeleton of an American Bald Eagle perched on a typical "Navy" anchor ("USN Nuke" written on it) with a mushroom cloud in the background. I had planned on getting the tattoo on the left side of my chest; however, for reasons I won't get into, I never got the tattoo.

A few years later, while I was stationed in Virginia Beach and still had the tattoo itch, I scheduled an appointment six months out with a tattoo artist up in northern Virginia. The tattoo was to be the album cover of Glenn Danzig's Black Aria (art by Michael Wm. Kaluta). This was at a time before MW Kaluta had decided to extend the drawing from the album cover to include the full wings, etc. and when tattoo guns were no where near what they are today. As a result, there were very few tattoo artists who could handle the size and detail I wanted (plus finishing the "missing parts" of the drawing), which was probably why the one I found was booked out six months in advance. Once again, this tattoo was going to be on the left side of my chest. Well, as luck would have it, come the time of my appointment I got stuck on duty all weekend and had to cancel.

Flash forward to the year 2010 and someplace in the back of my mind is still the itch for a tattoo. I still like the Black Aria cover; it is a terrific art and I love the good versus evil concept. But it has been done many-times-many times and I needed something original, something unique to me. Age and wisdom also have told me that the human body changes on a fairly consistent basis, so the location of the tattoo (whatever it was) should be someplace where those physical changes would be at a minimum (see the Blob's tattoo in the Wolverine movie for an example of what I am talking about).

While the tattoo itch was still someplace festering in my mind, it was something I hadn't really thought about in nearly 15 years time, so I felt inspired when the idea to get my tattoo struck me. "Andrew," my mind said, "take off that bra and panties, someone is coming." Wait. Sorry. Wrong conversation.

"Andrew," my mind said, "you are obsessed with gravity. You should get a tattoo on your back having to do with gravity, and what better representation of gravity than a Black Hole."

"Really?" I replied.

"Of course. Chicks will dig it!"

I had to admit my mind was correct. I am obsessed with gravity. Mostly about it being broken or rather that the formulas that represent gravity are broken. My mind was also correct in its assumption that it would be cool, so I set to working out the concept for this tattoo.

The concept for the art came to me pretty quickly (apparently, my mind had been hard at work on it for a long time while I was off doing other stuff): the personification of a Black Hole (or avatar), similar to the gods of old representing the human form of a phenomenon. Apollo is the god of the sun and, thus, represents what the sun would look like in human form. Hades is the god of the underworld and, thus, represents what the underworld would look like in human form. Wil Wheaton is the god of gamer geeks and, thus, represents what the gamer geek would look like in celebrity form (I know Vin Diesel is a gamer as well, but he does not look like a gamer geek in celebrity form, more like what gamer geeks look like in fantasy form, i.e. Den from Heavy Metal).

With the concept worked out, I only had one problem before I could get inked…I lost the ability to draw nearly 20 years ago (my belief is I gave it to my daughter when she was born). I had an artist in mind who I thought could handle creating my vision, but it was a student from one of my classes who I never ran into anymore and had no way of getting in touch with. I was pretty much screwed. This was a piece of art that was going to become a permanent part of my body and not something I could trust to just anyone. So onto the backburner the tattoo idea went.

A few months later, toward the end of my spring semester of classes, luck intervened and I ran across a student drawing his final exam for an art class. His work was great and so I struck up a conversation with him about doing a custom piece and the concept of my tattoo. Long story short, he agreed to draw it up, gave me his email address and asked me to send over a photo of me in the pose I was thinking of for the Black Hole avatar.

Instead of snapping off a photo, I decided to use Poser 3D and Photoshop to produce a better visual of what I was talking about. The image to the right is what I came up with and I emailed it off to the artist with an explanation. Basically, the idea is the avatar coming out of a physical Black Hole (with muscles straining against the gravitational forces) to devour a star. Pretty neat, right? My computer graphic kind of sucked, but it was just to visualize the concept and show the pose I had in my mind.

While I waited for a reply from the artist, I set to work on researching tattoos, inks, and tattoo artists. I read up on the composition of inks (allergies), care for tattoos, and began looking for an artist who did good gray-wash tattoos (using only black ink) in the local area. I spoke with everyone I knew who had gotten tattoos in the area and looked at the portfolios for each of the artists who did the work. Again, this was going to be a permanent part of my body so I mentally critiqued the hell out of everything and everyone.

Time passed and I never heard back from the young artist I had met at school. Luck again intervened though as the tattoo artist my ex-wife (and still friend), Suzi, and her boyfriend, Carl (who is covered with tattoos), recommended was supposed to be a terrific artist. They both said that if I give him the concept and told him to put his own spin on it, it would be great. I was very impressed with the work of his I saw and setup an appointment to discuss the idea. Shortly thereafter, I had an appointment to get inked with JD at Psychotic Ink.

On the day of part one of the tattoo, my best friend (and fellow Pirate), Liz, and girlfriend, Catherine, both came to watch the festivities. I am still of the opinion that they both came to see me in pain and were hoping for a good show of blood spurting and cries of agony. I disappointed on both fronts. Liz did bring her digital camera along so I have the following pictures to present (everyone say "Thank you, Liz").

From left to right: (1) This is the finished outline for the body and the "scratches" JD made to record where he would detail later. (2) A bunch of the body filled in just before a break. (3) An up close shot while on break. Getting pretty red, eh?

(4) JD at work. (5) Almost done with the first portion. A little blood up in the star. (6) The first portion finished. Looks awesome, right?!?! Check out how red it is and the little blood specks.

I went alone for the second part of the tattoo, mostly because it was in the middle of a work day, but also because I think Liz and Catherine got too much enjoyment from my pain. As a result, there are no pictures of the second portion being completed. I will say this though, aside from the outline of the formula lettering, JD free-handed the entire second half of the tattoo. In case you can not tell from the pictures above, he also free-handed all the detail for the body of the avatar and star.

In answer to the question that everyone asks, "Not bad and like a son of a bitch." The question, of course, is "Did the tattoo hurt?" The first portion wasn't bad at all, except for the outline of the hand that crossed over the edge of my shoulder blade. The second portion made me want to cry like a hungry-hungry baby, particularly where the tattoo goes onto my side.

There was one time during this whole ordeal that I did cry out like a little girl and that was when I had Catherine put a liquid compress on the first portion of the tattoo the night after it was done. The compress was freezing cold and I am man enough to admit that I screamed; to which she apparently received great enjoyment as I was greeted with the sound of giggling.

Anyway, that is the story of me getting my tattoo. I will add that the tattoo is on the left hand side of my back, instead of centered for two reasons: (1) I thought the bony spine would hurt too much (it didn't hurt bad at all) and (2) I needed room to put the correct formula for gravity once I create it. And that is my story.

Oh, here's the picture of the tattoo two days after it was finished (still a little red). I am incredibly happy with how it turned out and the work JD did. It really is much better than I could have hoped for and captures my vision perfectly. Thank you for enduring the pain with me. Enjoy.

Calendar ver 2.1.4

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 10:03:30 -0700

I have posted an updated version of the Proverbs PHP Web Event Calendar which is available for download from the Proverbs Calendar link in the menu bar. This update includes a few minor changes, most notably forcing IE7 or IE8 in Compatibility View to use the non-css calendar displays (because IE7 is horrid with CSS).

The update also includes a Polish language file provided by Matthew (Thank you for the file Matthew).

Getting Into Graduate School - Part III

nospam@example.com (Andrew Maxim) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 13:55:00 -0800

Maximizing Your Bachelor Degree

This last, and long overdue, part on getting into a good graduate level program covers the seldom mentioned criteria that many (most? all?) schools use when selecting candidates for entry: the value of your bachelor degree. The obvious side of this would be knowing that some schools are considered better than others, but that knowledge doesn't do you much good unless you plan on transferring to one of those "better" schools. Instead, we will focus on the courses that make up your degree.

Take a minute and dig out the requirements to earn your degree at your current school. It should consist of a bunch of required courses, a few courses you can pick and choose from, and "other" courses. These other courses could be anything from courses to meet the minimum credit requirements, to liberal art courses (such as needing 3 communications credits that could come from a variety of places), to specialized focus courses for your given degree. Hold onto that list. Open a new web browser and go to the undergraduate program for your major at one of the colleges on your graduate school list. For instance, if you are currently attending Brown with a major in Computer Science, Carnegie Mellon is probably on your list of graduate schools, so head over to the CMU Computer Science undergraduate website.

Once you have found your way to the undergraduate program website, see if you can find the degree requirements for your chosen major. Every college website I have been on has those requirements posted someplace, usually as a PDF file. Found it? Now compare the degree requirements from your current school to those of that prospective school. More than likely, unless they are both state universities within the same state, you will see several differences between the degree requirements. Your school might require one semester of Chemistry, while the other school requires two; or maybe your school allows you to choose between three advanced programming topics such as Compiler Design, Database Management Systems, and Operating Systems, while the other school requires Operating Systems. These differences are actually pretty damn important in the aspect of graduate school acceptance.

One of the things selection committees ask themselves when they are selecting candidates is the simple question, "Would our school have conferred a bachelor degree to this candidate?" It is a very simple question that equates to whether or not you meet the course requirement for their undergraduate program, and if not, how far off are you. Basically, the reason for this course requirement evaluation is that if you are "not ready" to be conferred a degree from their undergraduate program, how could you be ready for their graduate program? How can you jump into a Microwave Engineering class at the graduate level, when you haven't even taken a Signal Theory course at the undergraduate level?

Hopefully you have guessed by now that this is the last area where you can improve your odds of being accepted into the graduate school of your choice. It will take a little work on your part, but that acceptance letter and accompanying fellowship is worth the couple hours that it will take you to start comparing all of the graduate schools on your list to your current degree requirements. A spreadsheet program is good for this, find the undergraduate degree requirements for your major from each of the graduate schools on your list and start recording the absolutely required courses and the ones you have several choices from. Compare each of these schools to your current degree requirements: where there is overlap you are good, where there are differences you need to do some work.

This is where your optional courses come in handy. Using one of the above examples, if your school says you need at least one course from the following: Compiler Design, Database Management Systems, and Operating Systems; and several of the schools on your list all require Operating Systems; the choice should be clear as to which course you will be taking. There will likely be a few courses from other schools that don't directly correspond by name to a course at your current school, but more than likely there really is a course that is the same. Start by reading the course description and see if you can find a match by description. Additionally, many schools have online credit transfer evaluators. These transfer evaluators can be priceless in matching up Course A from your school to Course B at another school.

When you are finished you might be able to use the spreadsheet you put together to rule out a school or two from your graduate school list. Any school that doesn't even come close to a match to your current school (and the others) should probably get struck off your list. Some schools are designed for themselves and, while they may admit you, are going to require you to take a bunch of undergraduate level courses before letting you work on your graduate degree. Avoid that problem and just strike those schools from your list.

Your ultimate goal is to wind up with an undergraduate course list that not only meets your bachelor degree program requirements but also meets or exceeds the degree requirements from all the graduate schools on your list. Meeting those degree requirements will go a long way towards getting into those graduate schools, or at the very least, not being rejected out of hand. It also shows foresight on your part, as well as a desire to learn and succeed, and that is what graduate school is all about. Good luck.