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Information Systems Diagnostician

Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, once said that it was easier to make a million dollars than to coin a catch phrase. I believe he was referring to the Where's the beef? campaign in the 1980s, but I can't remember all the details of the speech to be certain. I do not have a million dollars, but it would be nice to have. I also do not have a catch phrase that I could coin. What I do have is a job title, Information Systems Diagnostician, and I intend to popularize it.

Backing up a bit, during my discussion of the Fox TV show House I made the comment that I should change my title to diagnostician. In my typical smart ass manner, I did just that very thing in my About Me page. All fun and games so far. On a whim I performed a Google search for the phrase (including quotes) "Information Systems Diagnostician" and something amazing happened: I Am. When? was the only website to contain the phrase.

I was only partially shocked at these search result. On the one hand, I had never heard the title prior to bestowing it upon myself, but on the other hand, this is the Internet for FSM sake. It should have been there someplace; at least that was my thought. That is when the little voice spoke to me, "Andrew, you are a slacker. Your life is meaningless and you will never accomplish anything of importance."

"You are wrong," I replied in an even tone. "I will popularize the job title Information Systems Diagnostician and that shall be my legacy." Feeling overly dramatic at that point, I hung up the phone on my brother.

True story. Alright, maybe I didn't hang up on my brother Greg. And maybe I just thought about my reply, but didn't actual say anything. Fine, I made it all up. Except the Google search part. That's real. Deciding to popularize the title is real as well, I am just not entirely certain why.

It is a cool title. The title also fits with what I do. Not just now, but wherever I work. I might get hired as a Computer Technician, a Systems Engineer, a Network Architect or an Information Systems Manager, but before long I wind up handling all the I.T. stuff that no one else can handle. It has always been that way. Might as well have a title that fits that, right? Except that is still just a title. It still doesn't explain my desire to popularize it.

I am also not certain exactly how I plan on going about popularizing the title. Or, for that matter, how I will ensure the title fits the actual job performance that I have in my mind. That hasn't stopped me from starting my crusade though. Small things for now. Message forums. Yep, that's correct; I've changed my job title on the message forums I belong to. Granted it doesn't show up anywhere except my user profile, but it's there. Oh yes, it's there.

This blog entry is my obvious next step. Another small step, but it is still a step. I imagine a Wikipedia article at some point; they do have many job descriptions listed already. I guess that means I have to come up with a concrete job description first, which would help to fix the title fitting the job performance aspect I just mentioned.

See? Ideas are flowing and moving already. This is good. Vive La Revolution! And my brother said I wouldn't accomplish anything. Oh, right. He never actually said that. I made that whole part up. Sorry. Something I still haven't made up is the reason why I want to popularize this job title. And the only thing that comes to mind is "Why Not?" And there you have it.

My name is Andrew Maxim and I am an Information Systems Diagnostician.


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